I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
