feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize