Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
