Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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