Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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