we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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