That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
