Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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