there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
