Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
