I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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