Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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