You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
