AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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