And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
