she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
