I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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