First date: that requires underwear, huh?
two words...techno handjob
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
