Don't make out with my wife yet
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
