Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
