in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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