You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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