I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize