she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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