My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
