Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
