Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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