I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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