he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We left an ass print on the piano.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
