I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
