see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
