when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
