i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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