my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
