I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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