Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
