Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We had sex on a dog bed..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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