The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize