It's just like the Real World with babies
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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