You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
