Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
