Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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