im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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