so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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