I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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