You smell like a Billy Joel song
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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