just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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