He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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