you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
