its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
