I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
