As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
