all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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