Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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