Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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