I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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