My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize