$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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