i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
