He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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