So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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