dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
