She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
