who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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