Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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