Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
