Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
