Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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