I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
